Do you ever feel like people don’t understand you? As if you can’t get your point across or bridge the gap between what someone else is saying and how you interpret it?
Key points:
- “Communication is both an art and a science,” Erwin told Hope 103.2’s UNDISTRACTED podcast.
- “Being a great listener opens you up to great learning.”
- Listen to the full episode of UNDISTRACTED with guest Erwin McManus in the player above or wherever you get your podcasts.
We all know the pain of poor communication, whether it’s that friendship that never recovered because you misspoke or the marriage forever on egg shells because you’re just not “getting” each other and end up in fights.
Erwin McManus is an author, speaker and pastor who’s world-renowned for his communication coaching.
He recently put a framework around seven frequencies of communication he’s observed in people to help us better connect with each other.
“Communication is both an art and a science,” Erwin told Hope 103.2’s UNDISTRACTED podcast.
“A lot of times people want to learn different techniques and skills and methodologies, [but] I think communication is so much more about our essence.
“Communication is both an art and a science,” Erwin McManus told Hope 103.2’s UNDISTRACTED podcast.
“It’s an extension of our person.”
The Seven Frequencies of Communication includes the Commander, Challenger, Philosopher, Seer, Maven, Healer and Motivator – all shaped by our neurological traits.
The Commander tends to give directives quite clearly and operate in a more forceful manner, whereas the Motivator or Healer speak in a way designed to uplift the hearer and be more focused on how what’s being said impacts them.
“There are some very common communication frequencies that you do hear from all the time,” Erwin said.
“Especially if you watch social media, if you listen to professional communicators, if you listen to people who are really influential in their ability to pass on information.
“But there are some other frequencies that are less common, but perhaps even more impacting.”
Erwin agrees communication is fundamental to human connection, and in an era of heightened exposure to division and tribalism, being able to speak well – and listen well – is vital to creating it.
“Being a great listener opens you up to great learning,” Erwin said.
“Being a great listener opens you up to great learning.” – Erwin McManus
Our tendency is to stick with people like us “99 percent of the time” but that’s not helpful.
“Human beings feel more comfortable feeling they’re in the majority,” Erwin said.
“So we surround ourselves with people who agree with us so that we feel validated.
“One of the great human experiments is to open your life up to people who completely disagree with you and find a way to be friends with those people.”
We’re not always going to say the right thing at the right time, but having an awareness of the power of our words and choosing how we use them matters.
The Bible tells us “the power of life and death are in the tongue [Prov 18:21]” so why did God make words so important?
Listen to the full episode in the player above or wherever you get your podcasts.
“It’s part of our original intent,” Erwin said.
“We’re created in the image of God, and the imagery in the Bible [shows] that God created through speaking.
“His words had the power to create [and while] we can’t speak the external world into reality, when you speak into someone’s inner world, it actually shapes their reality.
“Maybe I can’t speak a word and create a planet, but I can speak a word and bring hope and meaning into someone’s life.”
Erwin McManus’ book The Seven Frequencies of Communication is out now.
Listen to the full episode of UNDISTRACTED with guest Erwin McManus in the player above or wherever you get your podcasts.
Feature image: Book cover supplied and used with permission.
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